by Jane St. Clair

The other day I found out that Europeans are crazy about tumbleweeds from Arizona. They’ll pay $25 for a small one and $50 for a big one — as long as they are genuine Arizona tumbleweeds.

So -today at the Tucson Mall when I saw a great big humongous tumbleweed nestled next to a potted plant in front of Sears and about to roll into the parking lot, it was just like finding $50 cash! I couldn’t let it go tumbling to waste!

At a great risk to myself and my reputation (people were staring after all)  (in fact, one woman looked like she was phoning Mall Security), I tried to stuff this tumbleweed in my back seat. I got covered in nasty little prickles that are probably poisonous, and finally gave up and stuffed it in the trunk. My dog is mad at me because he was sitting in the back seat and now he is covered in tumbleweed stickers too. That’s the sacrifice we are making to bring YOU genuine Tumbleweed that was genuinely tumbling in Arizona! So here it is! For Sale! $50 cheap! Free shipping!

I will throw in this beautiful picture of your tumbleweed in its natural Arizona habitat! For Free! Now you won’t get this deal on eBay.

I have since learned that people in Japan are crazy for jeans worn by cowboys out West. Well, we Arizonans love cowboy jeans too! –in fact, my best friend has a bumper sticker that says “Cowboy butts drive me nuts” which pretty well sums it all up. Arizona Cowboys wear nothing but Wranglers, available at Walmart’s everywhere. Nevertheless, I am offering these jeans for sale -because they were used out west — in Arizona!

These Wranglers are the same price they are in Japan — $500 a pair! These are rare Arizona jeans, folks! Genuine Wranglers worn out West! Go for it!

Another inspiration came to me! Last year I bought this genuine Native American turquoise necklace from an eBay seller in China. Although I paid only $3 for it from China, I am offering it for sale here at $1300 because it is a genuine turquoise necklace worn in Arizona! Well, it’s turquoise-colored anyway.

(Disclaimer: The beads may be made of wood)

I am also selling genuine Mexican  tortillas! Tortillas may go for eight for a dollar, but since these were made here in Arizona and are usually eaten by cowboys, I am selling them at the fantastic price of $20 a package.

I am now totally inspired! Let’s see if I can get my genuine Arizona pick-up truck that is sitting on blocks in the yard right now and hasn’t cranked up for years — well,  let’s just see if I can get that baby started up.

Remember: for all your Arizona needs, you come right here, pardner — right here at  TUMBLEWEEDS-R-US!