Tarantulas by Jane St. Clair

When you live in the Arizona desert, you’re sure to see tarantulas. These are big hairy spiders that are quite scary when you come upon them.

I once accidentally brought one in the house. He must have jumped into my laundry basket when I was bringing in clothes from outside.

He crawled across the living room, looking like something out of a James Bond movie. His Dracula fangs were particularly scary.

However, unlike spiders in horror movies, this tarantula didn’t chase anyone. Instead, he just ran away from us the way a mouse would. Even if he had bit someone, it would have ended up being more like a bee bite than a whack from a poisonous snake.

The thing is Hollywood makes people scared of tarantulas. Besides “Dr. No,” there’s a horror movie about hordes of tarantulas attacking a California town, and another one called “Tarantula!,” about a spider the size of the Chrysler Building. My favorite is “The Incredible Shrinking Man,” about a tiny person who uses a toothpick/sword to battle a huge spider.

Even though tarantulas are big hairy spiders, they’re actually very sweet, docile animals For all we know, they may even be kindhearted.

Tarantulas are hunters even though they move slowly. They catch their food by sneaking up on prey and poisoning it. I guess their webs are just decorative.

If they get hurt while hunting, tarantulas can grow new legs if they have to.

Besides biting people, a tarantula will protect himself by throwing hairs at you from his belly. This experience can be painful. Also it leaves the spider with a bald spot on his tummy. By the way, tarantulas have very bad eyes, and use their hairs as sense organs

In a terrible example of sexual inequality, female tarantulas live 30 years but males only seven.

I hadn’t been in Arizona very long when I heard about Tarantula Hawks. I assumed they were big birds that went after big spiders, but no, that is wrong. Tarantula Hawks are quite disgusting insects who lay their eggs in the bellies of tarantula spiders.

When the baby tarantula hawks hatch, they feed on the poor spider. There, I’ve just ruined your day for you.

Some people are crazy about tarantulas and keep them as pets. There is actually an American Tarantula Society dedicated to these spiders, as well there should be. However, this makes you wonder if they’ve seen any movies.